A Stroll Down Serious Lane
by ohsocreative
Summary: Since her mom died,Amy has dated as an outlet for her pain.She finally tries to stop this awful way of living when she meets someone who makes her heart flutter.She likes him but is she willing to give him a chance,or will she keep her promise?AU
1. Summary

**Author Note:** I'm horrible. A truly horrible person. I can't even stick to one story for goodness sake...But once again an idea has popped into my uncommitted brain, and has been festering. I shall now unleash the madness...

Has a similar plot to the book This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen also.

Amy Fleming hasn't had the easiest life. Her father left her mother and two daughters when Amy wasthree years old. He had been involved in a riding accident and was temporarily paralyzed. He couldn't stay around his old life while having to deal with his new one. Marion, Amy's mom, decided to take Pegasus, her husbands injured horse, and nurse him back to health. Lou, Amy's sister,stayed at boarding school in England while Marionflew to Virginia with Amy, her youngest daughter, to live with her father on his farm. While helping Pegasus regain his health Marion learned much about curing horses, soon enough she used her fathers farm to build up a Horse Sanctuary, Heartland.

It has been13 years since Amy took flight from her past and started her life in Virginia. She honestly can't remember much about that life...more like shechooses not to, surpressing painful memories is what she does best. But when Marion dies in a car crash while trying to save a horse that Amy found abandoned, Amy retreats into herself, going through her daily routine but never gaining back the usual luster in her eyes (Amy is 13 when her mom dies and now she is 16, so she died 3 years ago). She barely talks, eats, or cares. She tries to convince everyone shes fine, she trys to convice herself that shes fine. And she believes it.

A side effect of all of this is lonliness. Although she can trick herself into believing she is fine, she can't trick herself into believing she isn't lonely. Soraya and Matt, her best friends, try to talk to her and invite her out, but they've always been there, when Marion was alive. They only serve as a painful reminder, as does her grandpa and Lou, her sister.

So she dates. Her reputation at school is 'One Shot Amy'. She meets boys and dates them. Yet what no one knows, other than a few select friends, is that her dating is based on math. She dates for a few months, through the romantic whirl, but when she senses that the relationship is taking a turn on Serious Lane, she jumps of the train and waves goodbye to the hopeless boy sticking his head out the window. She manages to hide her lonliness while with her present boyfriend, and then when she notices that he seems serious, she has to break up with him. She cant care about someone, everyone she cares about dies. Its the only way to temporarily delete her lonliness, yet not be in danger of even more pain. She has it down to a math.

That is until Ty Baldwin comes into the picture. He is nothing like her usual boyfriends. He's messy, while she is a neat freak. He talks a lot, where she uses her words wisely. He is always smiling, while every smile that graces her face has to be earned. He is clumsy, while she watches her every step. He finds his own crowd at school, not very popular, while she prefers to date well known men.

And most of all. The one thing she swore she'd never do, is date either a Horse Lover, or a Musician. Both lead to problems. A man on a horse reminds her of her father, instant pain. And a musician never works out.

But when the few months is up, can Amy break up with Ty, or will he be her absolutle weakness.


	2. Melody

**Author Note:** Ok, chapter one.

**Disclaimer:** Lauren owns the characters, I own my own characters, Sarah Dessen owns much of the plot.

**Chapter One**

__

Amy's POV

September 21st: Tuesday

I kick a rock from its resting place on my way up the drive. I follow it as it skips it's way around a bend and the farmhouse comes into view. I lift my eyes from the now abandoned rock and run my eyes across the yard. The large white farmhouse stands off to the left, the kind of house that makes you want to never leave the comfort of home. My eyes linger on the window over the front porch, my mothers.

My mother died 3 years prior, and painful reminders never cease in their insistent goal of ruining my life. I let myself drift into the blissful memory that is my mother. She had a head full of thick blonde hair that fell to just below her shoulders in a graceful arc. She had eyes that could sweep you into lands unknown and lull you to sleep with their gentleness, their light gray orbs now positioned on my own face. I couldn't even stand to look in the mirror.

Painful reminders were everywhere.

All in all I look more like my father than anything. I have light brown hair that falls in spirally locks halfway down my back. I am a slim girl, muscles slightly noticeable from working the farm, and have the eyes of my mother.

I let my eyes drift away from the window and the still curtains, never to be drawn again. My eyes swing to the right of the house, across the yard, where the front barn is, and beyond that, the back barn. Each holding 12 horses. Behind the house and barns are the paddocks, in which several horses are carelessly grazing, not a care in the world.

I drop my eyes back to my feet and guide them towards the front porch, nearly tripping when I lose my focus and run into the bottom step. I regain my posture and walk into the house, throwing my shoes to the side, under the coatrack. The kitchen is in a state of dismay, and I scowl at the half eaten bagel, rotting away near the sink.

I hum under my breath and walk over to the elegant, the only slightly expensive looking thing in my house, spiral staircase that winds towards the second floor like a strand of DNA. I take the stairs two at a time, like usual, and find myself in the upstairs hallway. I turn to the left and walk towards the last door on the right. I pul on the handle and twist, you have to know how to work my handle, it can be quite tricky.

My room is immaculate. Straight ahead of the perfectly center (I measured) doorway is my perfectly centered full size bed. Next to it is a side table that almost matches the wood trimmings along my windows and floor. On the far right wall is a long glass mirror that opens into a closet, sorted by what sort of clothing it was, and then colors. The closet doesn't take up the whole wall though because in the corner is a single doorway, no door to be seen (it was very old and Grandpa took it off and never replaced it) that leads into my private bathroom. My bathroom it white with very light blue accents, my sink a work of art. Not a single drop of water clusters its surface, and the toothpaste and toothbrush are always in their right spot, in the corner. To the left of my bed is a long table, on top in the center is a stereo, and to either side are pictures. In the corner is another table that contains all my horse related topics. Magazines, grooming kits needing to be cleaned, and so forth.

My sister calls my room the 'Loon', a shortened name of Loony Bin, in which she pairs with my room partly because she thinks I should be in one im such an obsessive cleaner, and partly because its so clean it should belong to one.

I like it.

I drop my book bag in it's designated spot to the right of my door and walk towards my closet. I slide the door open and glance in, knowing exactly where to find what I want. I reach my hand towards the 'Farm Clothes' section and pick up a pair of old jeans and a loose t-shirt.

Time for work.

When I am finished dressing I close my door and walk back downstairs, slipping into my work shoes, and heading out to the yard. I start walking towards the front barn when I hear someone calling me,

"Amy, wait up!" I halt and wait for the stable hand, Ben Stillman, to catch up, "Hey," he smiles.

Ben is handsome. No way around that. He has blonde hair, cut short and slightly spiky, that contrasts well with his icy blue eyes. He is lean with muscular biceps and abs that can almost be seen even when wearing a baggy shirt. But what most girls actually notice first is his smile. He has perfectly white teeth that are perfectly straight and when he flashes you a smile you can't help but think of a toothpaste commercial. But that's not the best thing about his smile. Its that his smiles are always absolutely _genuine_. They are warm and inviting and make you want to curl up with those thick lips that grace you with their presence.

He is one of my best friends. No possible dating there. Not that I want to. But he _is _handsome.

"Hey," I smile back, which is not hard at all around Ben. Ever since my mom died my smiles are few and none between. I used to always be smiling, everything about life was perfectly smile worthy. Until my mom died, and my smiles wilted into their new reclusive home. I had to be really provoked to smile, even with my very best friends, Soraya and Matt, but something about Ben just made me smile.

Ben had started working at Heartland about 4 months after my mother died, therefore there was no way he could remind me of my mom. Maybe that is why he could always make me smile with no effort what so ever. Everything else held some part of my mom that it was too hard to bear. Soraya and Matt hadn't been nearly as close as they used to be. I pushed them away.

"How was school?" Ben's smile lightens a little, as it always does after its first bright effect. But he never stops smiling, no matter what.

"It was ok," I have a nasty habit of using only the words absolutely necessary to reply to something. My Grandpa says I am well on my way to becoming either mute or having a very bright future of mime-hood.

"That's good. Well I have to leave in an hour, my aunt is coming down for dinner and I still have to shop. But," he flashed me that smile of his, "I worked overtime so I didn't feel guilty leaving you with everything. All you have to do is give everyone their dinner and swap the horses in the field in a while. Then your good for the night,"

"Thanks Ben, you're a life-saver," suddenly Ben whips out in-front of me and started walking backwards, smiling as he stares straight into my eyes,

"I know. What would you do without me, Amy my love!" I laugh and Ben's eyes widen, "My fair maiden, have I actually made thee laugh? Bless my fragile heart, I have! We must celebrate, come," Ben's fake English accent wafts over my ears and I giggle as he takes my hand and twirls me around, dancing with my in the middle of the yard.

(**A/N–** I am making Ben too good. If I keep up this way it will turn into a Amy/ Ben shipping!)

Ben gently lays my hands on his shoulders and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"So, how is the present boyfriend holding up? It's been what, two months. I think your behind on the break-up. You better get going or people will actually believe that," Ben gasps dramatically, "Amy Flemings is actually committing to a boyfriend instead of dumping him."

"Shut up," I slap his arm and try to pull back from his embrace, but he holds steady.

"No, Amy, really. I mean when will this ever stop? Ever since your mo.." I cut him off,

"Don't even say it Ben, don't" my voice cuts like a knife through the silent farm, but Ben keeps going as if I never interrupted,

"-ther died, you've been like this. You date and date and date. Sometimes people you know, sometimes random guys. You date them for a while, but when it threatens to get serious you pull back from them and then dump them. Leaving them cold and confused on the curb as you speed away as fast as you can. It's not healthy Amy, you need a steady relationship, someone who cares for you and who you care for back. I mean look at us, if our friendship was turned into love it would be wonderful right? We care for each other so much as friends and its so great. Think about caring about someone that much but in a different kind way. A love kind of way."

"Look Ben, I don't need to be lectured. I know I date a lot, but that's my choice, there's nothing you can do about it," I wretch myself from his firm arms and walk away, calling over my shoulder, "And not that it is any of you information, but my present relationship is fine. Just fine."

"Don't lie to yourself Amy, it will only make it harder to realize true love when it comes your way. Don't shut it out Amy, please." Ben calls after me, but I block out his voice and walk towards the tack room, planning on feeding th horses. When I enter the dusty room I immediately see that Ben had also taken the liberty of making all the feeds, all I have to do is distribute them.

That boy needs a life.

I pick up to buckets and haul them into the barn, placing each one in a stall, stopping to say hello to each horse as I give them their dinner. When im finally done I walk out to the yard and see Ben climbing into his truck, he sees me and lifts his leg out of his door and walks over to me,

"You still mad?" his eyes taunt me, glistening with the fact that he knows me too well,

"Yes," I try and muster the most solemn face I can and stalk away from him,

"No you not," I can_ hear_ the smile for goodness sake,

"Yes. I am." I won't let him win, I won't.

"Nope. Wanna know why?" he doesn't give me a chance to answer before he breaks out in a sing song voice, "Because you love me. Love me!"

"No I don't," god damn him.

"Oh-ho yes you do," I can hear him breathing in, getting ready to sing again, and then I feel his hands on my wrists, "If you love me and you know it clap your hands," he claps my hands together while I try and resist him, "If you love me and you know it clap your hands," _clap, clap_, "If you love me and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you love me and you know it," he twists me around and lets go of my wrists, clapping his own hands, "Clap your hands!"

My hands keep their position next to my sides, and I try not to smile, "I really do not love you," I will myself to look straight into his eyes as I say this, and I feel a bubbling sensation in my gut, working its was up to my lips, making them spread across my face in a slow smile,

"Ah ha! You do love me, your smiling," his face becomes pitiful, "You know Amy, I understand. Girls find it hard to resist me and this bod," he flexes his arms, "I mean I have girls crawling over me all the time. I totally understand your position. Were just friends though Amy. I'm so dearly sorry, but I really don't see you that way. Not that your not," he pretends to look for a word and I become insulted, "_Pretty_," he smiles at my open mouth shock, "But we have too deep a friendship to ever go any farther,"

"Pretty?" I fake insulted,

"Well, maybe a little bit more than pretty," he pinches his fingers together in a small gesture,

"A little? I think im a little more than a little pretty," I smile and we both start laughing.

"Well, my pretty, I really have to be going," Ben starts after a few minutes, "I mean, no matter how much you want to sit here and argue with me over your appearances, I do have other obligations,"

"All right I suppose," I punch his arm slightly, "Leave, get out,"

"Fine. Be like that," he starts to walk away but I yell after him and he turns his head slightly to show he is listening,

"You never said you loved me!" I shout, a laugh evident in my voice,

"Your right, I didn't," he winks at me and I stand with my mouth open, staring at his retreating back as it shakes with silent laughter.

Next Day: September 22nd: Wednesday

I slip into a pair of light jeans and shimmy my hips to slide the fabric around them. I button the front and then turn to the shirt that is lying, folded of course, on the toilet seat. I pick it up and slip into its sleek comfort. It is a fitted brown shirt that has a dangerously low v-neck, in which a laced white tank top covers my breasts.

I lean over, towards my toes, and pull the towel from its twisted position around me hair, letting long curls flow from the towel. I rake my fingers through the curls, letting them bounce back to their previous position. I then flip my head back up and turn the hair dryer on, letting it dry my curls. When finished I walk over to the mirror and pick up a bottle of mouse, distributing the foam throughout my hair, taming any frizz that has sprouted up. Which isn't much. My hair is the one thing that I truly love about myself. Loose spirals that have barely, if any, frizz. They fall to about halfway down my back, shining in any sort of lighting.

I lean into the mirror and lightly apply the tiniest bit of eyeshadow, the only makeup I ever wear, natural beauty to me is much more beautiful. I tip myself away from the mirror and glance up and down my body, pretty good job. I recap and reorganize everything on my sink, hang my towel, dump my dirty clothes, and walk into my room. Scattered across my bed is my book bag, purse, cell phone, and light jacket. I pick them all up, situate them on my body, and head out to the yard.

Waiting for me as I step out the door is my car. A S60 R Volvo. Not the best car, but I admired it. It is fairly new, I have only had my license for about 4 months. I fish my keys out of my purse and slide into the driver seat, starting the car with a flick of my fingers. I pull out of my driveway, glance both ways, and then head towards school.

I park in the same spot every day. It is about 7 spots away from the sidewalk that leads to the garden. The garden serves as a eating area during the summer, and where everyone hangs out till school starts. At my school there is no designated parking, but somehow everyone just sort of _knows_ that on the first day of school, where your parked is where your parked all year. Some spunky Seniors actually spray painted their spots this year, earning a week of detention, but were allowed to keep the spray paint there, as long as they clean it at the end of the year. The principal is very lenient.

I ready myself for a long day of school, and then step out of my car, only to collide with Chad, the present boyfriend.

"Hey babe," he wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his face into my neck, nipping at the curve that resides there. I sigh a little and push him away. He holds me tight against him, only nibbling harder at the already tender spot on my neck.

"Chad, quit it," I struggle to stop the insistent nibbling that is very fast wearing down my niceness. He stops but kisses his way up my neck, where his mouth sucks in my earlobe and starts to naw away.

Chad is a nibbler. I secretly call him that when thinking about him.

"Chad," I say a little more forcefully, shoving my hands into his chest, only to have my ear scraped out of his mouth, a fleeting pain bursting in my lobe, "Ow," I rub my ear until the pain has subsided.

"What's wrong," he frowns and rests his hands on my hips, pushing me against my car and grinding his hips into mine.

"You," his eyes flinch in pain, "Just stop ok? I don't appreciate someone biting away at my neck," I glance down at his hands pointedly, " And I certainly don't appreciate your PDA when it involves me slammed against a car," I once again push him away.

"Amy, what is it with you? I try to be affectionate and all you do lately is push me away. If I seem to remember correctly it used to be _you_ pushing _me _against cars in the parking lot, do a whole hell of a lot more than what I am," I sigh in a huge gust,

"Look im just not into it anymore, ok?"I shake my hips trying to loosen his hold there, but he only clenches his hands a little more. This used to make me jump on him, landing in full on make-out mode, but now it just annoys me. I try to pry his hands off with my own, and finally he lets go. I start to walk away when he grabs my wrist,

"Amy, please, what's wrong?" I don't want to hurt him, but as I mull this question over, I realize Ben was right. This is getting too serious for him. He relies on me. I have to end it. Only pain will come out of this if I delay it any longer.

"Chad," I falter, "Look, I like you a lot, I really do. But I don't really see us going anywhere and I don't want to prolong what we know is eventually going to happen. Im sorry, I really am," he still seems a little befuddled, "Can we just be friends?" his eyes take on an instant knowing and he immediately drops my hand.

"Friends." he repeats. His eyes are emotionless and raw, cutting through me like a dagger. This is how it always is, me feeling guilty as I finally see how much they liked me. I always like my boyfriends, I do. But I don't believe in true love, but I certainly believe in pain, and that's why I try my best to avoid it. But I always hate seeing the emotion stripped from the guys eyes and the hollow look that takes over him.

"Yes," I say softly, reaching out to touch his hand, he pulls back.

"I don't think I can Amy, I don't want to be your friend, I want to be more" he walks away, his shoulders hunched and his head hanging. I sigh and will the pain of his eyes to the dark corners of my mind. I grab everything out of my car and head towards the garden.

I pull out my cell phone and dial Ben's cell,

"Amy?" he questions, surprised im calling,

"Yeah, hey" I sigh into the phone and he knows what's wrong,

"Dumped him?" his voice isn't mocking in the least. I can always count on Ben to know he's right but never taunt with 'I told you so's.

"Yeah, it was hard. He was crushed,"

"It's always hard. Maybe one day you won't do it anymore," his voice hints, "You know it's a shame, I liked this one."

"Me too, just not enough for forever," I hear him laugh darkly,

"No one said it was forever Amy,"

"Then why prolong it? Why do I even start it Ben?"

"Are those the only choices you see Amy? Nothing or forever? That's not how it works. Not at all. That's the beauty of things, you have choices. Nothing has to be forever, and forever doesn't have to be nothing. Go on the in-between Amy, follow your heart for once, not your head."

"You make it sound so..." I stop as a melody catches my ear and a guy catches my eye across the garden. His head is bent, his fingers strumming along the strings of an acoustic guitar. He is humming softly to the tune and three guys next to him are talking to him in low voices. He has dark brown hair that is only the slightest bit long, pieces falling down over his face as he bends it down in concentration. I stare at him, open mouthed, letting his fingers pick away at the music that soothes me. Suddenly his head lifts, the music stops, and he looks right at me, emerald green eyes piercing though me like a well hidden secret. I gasp and drop my eyes, realizing Ben is still talking,

"Amy? You there...Amy!" I almost drop my phone as he shouts,

"Yeah, yeah im here. No need to shout."

"Well you didn't finish your sentence. 'You make it sound so...' what?"

"Nothing I have to go, see you later, bye," I snap my phone shut and turn left towards the school, glancing discreetly at the boy. He is turned to the side, talking to a copper-haired boy, and I realize that the one with the guitar is the only one who looks high school bound. The others look older, like they graduated years prior. I have never seen any of them and they intrigue me.

To the far left is a guy who looks to be about 19 with long blonde hair. In his hands he holds two drum sticks and is rhythmically hitting them off of the stone wall on which he sits, bobbing his head to the tune. Next to him is a black haired guy who looks to be about the same age as the drummer next to him. He has a kind face and is talking softly to the drummer, who simply nods. Next to him is the guitarist, who is talking to the guy on his right, the copper one, who looks to be maybe 20 or so.

I find myself staring at them too long and theone with the guitarnotices me again, and smiles the littlest bit, I blush and head towards school.

**Author Note:** So...shall I continue?


	3. Author Note

**Author Note:** Ok well all day, while off in not-paying-the-least-bit-of-attention land, I rethought chapter 2. I know I posted it, but I decided I dont like the ending, and so I am changing it. So the new, and hopefully better one that sounds more realistic, should be up shortly. Thank you for the reviews, and I hope I get more since Im changing the chapter:)


	4. Complications

**Author Note: **Ok, heres chapter two. Well the new chapter two. I re-wrote it.

Also I realized that I have been writing in the present. I didn't even realize it for the 1st chapter, and the old second one I had to make it present, but Im not used to it so from now on its in the past like my other stories. I have no idea what possessed me to do the present.

****

Chapter Two

Same Day: September 22nd: Wednesday

I sat in English, trying my hardest to get interested in the discussion over the most recent chapter we read in Blood and Chocolate, but I couldn't, not for the life of me. My mind kept wandering to so many flash images its hard to stay concentrated on anything.

I saw Chad's eyes as they hollowed out any emotion that once resided there. As he appraised me with those eyes and told me flat out that we couldn't be friends.

I saw Ben dancing with me in the yard and then I saw myself, from a birds eye view, flinching at his words as I walked away, knowing they were right.

And then I saw the guy with the guitar. I saw his emerald eyes find mine, and I saw the catch in breath that I hadn't known I'd caught until now.

The bell rung and my thoughts snapped to attention towards the teacher. I wrote down the homework and packed my bag, heading towards the garden. When I walked down the winding path towards the picnic tables I glanced around, looking for Soraya and Matt. Soraya caught my eye and waved me over, I smiled slightly, giving her hope, and headed her way.

"Hey," she smiled brightly, no doubt trying to pry the same expression from me. No luck there,

"Hi," I grumbled while bending down to dig out my lunch from the depths of my book bag.

One of the things about Soraya that can be both annoying and endearing about her, at the same time, is persistency, "So, what's up? Anything new for me today?" her smile, if possible, became brighter. Sorry, best friend of mine, no smiling from me today.

"Nothing to speak of," I opened the brown bag in front of me and lifted out a can of Mountain Dew, a baggy full of Cooler Ranch Doritos, and a turkey sandwich. I unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite, cringing at the fact that I had forgotten lettuce, oh well.

I settled in to my usual routine of looking around the garden at everyone, seeing who's with who, and what's going on. To my right was Ashley Grant and all of her friends. To my left were the Goths, drama club people, and the jocks. Behind me were all of my friends that I don't sit with. And in front of me was a long wall that stretched across the whole side of that part of the school. It went past the garden by about 15 feet. I glanced along it from left to right. The wall was filled with about 3 feet of grass behind it, up to the level of the wall and a few trees and bushes along it. Mainly loners sit here, people who are mad at each other and want to get away, people who want quiet for homework, and then those who just prefer the seat. Sometimes a group will sit there, but not often. I saw the usual people sitting along the wall until I got almost to the end.

There sat guitar guy. His guitar appeared to be in the black case that was situated to the right of him. He had on earphones and an ipod was sticking out of his enclosed fist. His hands were behind him, resting in the grass, as he leaned back. His head bobbing slightly and his eyes were closed. He was dressed in a pair of slightly baggy jeans and a plain hunter green t-shirt, his hair resting along the crest of his brow.

I stared at him and then remembered myself and looked down, resuming eating. I couldn't help but glance at him every once in a while. At one point I let my eyes linger a second too long and Soraya, who sits across from me, saw my gaze. She followed it to the guy and turned to me with a frown,

"May I remind you of Chad?" her eyes held a slight pinprick of disgust, and I knew I was disappointing her. She had been with Matt for over a year and had never looked at another man in all that time. She despised the way I dated a lot, but only gave me a lecture every time I broke up with them.

"No you may not. He's been on my mind all day," she raised her eyebrows in question, "I broke up with him." I lowered my eyes to avoid her stare.

"You did? And did I not ask you what was new? And did you not tell me nothing? This is nothing Amy? If it is then that _proves_ you date too much. I mean when you break up with someone you tell people, you don't just go on with your day like nothing happened." she was glaring at me, I could feel it.

"I just didn't want to talk about it. It's been on my mind and I just...don't," I repeated.

"Fine we won't," I stared at her as she started to eat, counting down 10 seconds. I was on 2 when she finally looked up, "Why did you break up with him?"

"I just don't see us going anywhere and I didn't want to prolong it. I mean I like him, I really do. But some things about him just don't go over well with me, and I know that's low but it's the truth," I paused, "And now that it's over I've decided to take a break,"

Soraya started to choke on her muffin and Matt patted her back, startled. After a few seconds she regained her composure, "Excuse me!"

"You heard me. I realized that your right, and wipe that smirk off your face right_ now_, I need to straighten out my priorities, like patching up some loose ends. Such as friendships," she smiled shyly, knowing I meant her and Matt. Ever since my mom died I have pushed them away, preferring to wallow in self pity all by my lonesome. But that couldn't happen anymore, I needed to focus on what's really important, not on the present boyfriend.

"Thanks," she took to picking apart the half eat, choked on, muffin.

"No problem, see you later. Homework beckons" I patted her hand and stood up to dump my lunch and head to french class. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and headed up the stairs, I turned into the french class and sat in my normal seat, middle row, way back.

In my french class there aren't many students, only about 10, mainly all friends. So we have assigned seats. The only problem with that is all French classes consist of barely any students. The biggest class is 12 students, so there are only 13 desks. The room is small and cramped so no matter how far away from friends you are seated, it is quite easy to talk to them. I set my book bag on the floor next to me and took out my homework from the night before. I filled in a few questions that I didn't get. I'm was always early for French, so I knew I had about 10 minutes before the final bell. I never do my homework and can't concentrate in lunch so I always came early to finish it. My teacher had told me on many occasions that I can.

A few more minutes passed while I just sat there, doodling on my now finished homework sheet. I looked up at the clock and saw there was about 7 more minutes till the bell. I walked towards the teachers desk and looked at the pictures that sat there. One was of my teacher, Miss. Bernas, and two little boys. Another was of 3 puppies, the next of those puppies as full fledged dogs. I looked at the clock, 6 more minutes. I sighed and walked back to my desk, stepping over a discarded notebook. I sat back down and folded my arms, then laid my head in the middle.

I let my mind wander and felt myself dozing. I let my eyes droop down, down, down...

"Hello?" a voice startled me and I lifted my head to see the guy with the guitar framed in the doorway. His insistent hair hung down close to his brow, his eyes stared at me as I looked at him,

"Hi," I choked out, cursing my nerves. He smiled and walked towards the back of the room, towards me. He set down his guitar and book bag and sat in the chair next to me,

"I'm Ty Baldwin, nice to meet you," I nodded dumbly and took the hand he held out to me, his eyes seemed to laugh at me as I glanced at him and immediately remembered my part,

"Oh, sorry, I'm Amy Flemings. Nice to meet you too," mentally I slapped my self in a _duh_ manner.

In response he looked pointedly down at our hands, and I realized I hadn't let go. I dropped his hand and turned towards the front of the room, forcing myself not to look at him.

A minute passed and the bell rung, our teacher arriving only moments later along with the crowd of students.

"Bonjour, classe," Our teacher crooned excitedly,

"Bonjour, Madame Bernas" a few people who actually cared crooned back. She smiled and turned to the board, starting to write notes. We all pulled out our notebooks and began to copy down what she was writing. Ty idled up to her and spoke to her in a hushed voice, she nodded and wrote something down in her grade book. Ty walked back to the seat next to me and sat down, also pulling out a notebook, following suit and writing down the notes.

Two days later: September 24th: Friday

At 9:30 I walked out of the barn and over towards the house. I climbed the steps two at a time and banged the screen door as I stepped into the kitchen. I saw grandpa in the office, packing up a few things for the trip, and Lou beside him talking in a low voice, her pregnant stomach protruding over her lap.

"I'm leaving in 40 minutes," I said to them as they glanced at me in the doorway,

"Ok, have fun honey, Ill see you next month ok?" Grandpa walked up to me and hugged me tightly. Every few years Grandpa went to visit his old friends for a month in Washington, leaving Lou and I to our own devices. This year I had the house to myself, seeing that Lou was heavily pregnant and had her own house 7 miles down the road.

"Ok Grandpa, I love you, have fun too," he nodded against my neck and then pulled back from me. Lou waddled over and past me out into the kitchen, she picked up a pickle from a plate and headed outside, Grandpa hot on her heels,

"My number in on the fridge, in case of emergency. Ill call when I get there ok?" I nodded,

"Ok, love you," I headed up to my room and walked over to my closet, pulling out some clothes. I jumped in the shower, washing away accumulated sweat. I got out and blow dried my hair, shiny curls falling down my back. I head to my clothes, pulling on a pair of faded jeans and a thin brown turtleneck, lifting my hair out of it. I applied a little bit of eyeshadow. I was slipping into a pair of Converses when I heard a beep outside.

Grandpa had taken my car for the long trip, seeing that his truck was in the shop. So Soraya was picking me up and we were going to go to Harry's Bar, an all ages bar on the other side of town that had a two live bands playing there that night. Anyone could get in as long as they were at least 16, they had to draw the line somewhere. So we were going out and then she was dropping me off later. That night was officially a girls night out. Part of the patching up of our friendship.

I ran down the stairs, grabbing my purse as I headed out the door. I climbed into the passenger seat of Sorayas car and smiled at her, "Hey,"

"Hey," she replied, looking over her shoulder as she backed out.

We drove along, singing very rambunctiously to James Mraz's 'Geek In The Pink," laughing the whole way. When we arrived Soraya locked the car and we headed in. The bouncer nodded as we passed him, stamping our hands so we could get in, but not the drinking stamp. We weren't allowed to drink yet. The bar was already crawling with people there to see the band, we squeezed our way to a table along the side wall that was only about 10 feet from the raised stage. We leaned the chairs against the table, to show we were coming back, and headed towards the ladies room.

"Wow, its hot out there," Soraya panted as she stepped up to the mirror, rubbing at a bit of mascara that had run,

"Yeah," I looked at my reflection and decided I was fine, and then waited for Soraya. She took out her bag, laying out all her makeup and accessories,

"Sorry, I had to run out of the house, give me a minute," A minute for Soraya was an hour to me.

"Im going to get some drinks and go back to the table, Ill meet you there ok?" she nodded, distracted, and I left.

I slipped between guys and girls, some dancing, some just standing there, waiting. I made my way to the bar, swatting at a very touchy guy as her slipped his hand around my arm. I finally made it and leaned over the bar, looking for the bartender. A burly man walked towards me, "What can I do you for?"

"Two root beers, please" he nodded and took out two large mugs, filling them to the brim with fizzing soda. I picked them up carefully and slowly nudged my way through the crowd. I made it to the small table and sat down the mugs, pulling down my chair and sliding into it. Right at that moment a guy from school, name either Ted or Fred, came up to me,

"We go to school together right?" Ted/Fred said to me.

"Yeah, I think," trying to hint that I didn't want to talk with the sound of my voice,

"Hey," he sat in the chair across from me, settling into it quite quickly,

"Hey," I half smiled.

"Here to see The Truth Squad?" he asked, smiling at me (Stole the band name from This Lullaby also, couldn't think of anything at the moment)

"The Truth Squad?" I was truly mystified.

"The band playing tonight..." he looked at me as though I was mentally challenged.

"Oh, yeah I am. I didn't know their name, sorry," he nodded an Ok.

"So, here with your boyfriend?" I shook my head warily, he smiled, "Cool," he reached over, and before I had time to react he had my hand tight within his, I tried to pull back but he held on tight,

"Let go, please," I smiled in a hopefully hinting manner. He just smiled more and kept on talking,

"Your really pretty you know that?" I cringed, trying to get my hand back. He glanced around the room and then stood up, pulling me to my feet, "Lets go somewhere a little more...private," his voice was deep and husky, apparently lustful.

"No, let go!" I tried to pull away as he practically dragged me towards the door, slipping an arm around my waist, and securing my hand with his other hand. It looked as though we were a couple as we walked towards the door, me trying to fight against him as the hand around my waist started to push against the waist band of my jeans, a finger slipping through and caressing the skin there.

"Let _GO_!" I almost screamed, but no one heard me because everyone else also screamed as the opening band for The Truth Squad came on. I struggled against him as the crown pushed us forward, no one noticing my yelling or struggle.

"Shhh," he whispered into my ear, his lips skimming my lobe, "No need to get frisky now, wait till later," he licked my ear and I cringed as he did so, jerking my head away from him. He held me still against him as we passed through the door, the bouncer, talking to someone, didn't notice as I tried to reach out to him. Ted/Fred held my arms down and led me to a car parked close by. He wretched open the drivers door and pushed me through to the back seat, following me as I fell.

"_Now_, you can get frisky," his arms pinned mine down against the seat and his mouth crashed against mine. I tried to pull my head back but he had me flush against the seat, his body weighing me down. I tried to turn my head, kick him, hit him, anything to get away, but he only kissed me harder, his hands now holding me head steady. My arms were pinned under his knees, his tongue roughly parted my tight lips.

He tasted like beer and smoke, and I gagged against his mouth, trying vainly to push him off, my now tired arms barely even touching him in their weakened flail. His tongue pushed against mine, and I lifted mine and pushed his out of my mouth, but he took this as me getting into the kiss, so he roughened it, sliding his tongue in and out. I tried again to push him off, slipping my hands to the sides of his face to push him away, and that's when I heard the tapping.

Ted/Fred finally pulled away and looked at the window, allowing me to look to the side and wipe my mouth. Ted/Fred was straddling me so I couldn't move much, but I saw what had caused the tapping.

Soraya stood there, glaring at me through the window, angry and hurt tears welling in her eyes. What she saw was me breaking my promise and ditching her, and that's not how it had happened. Ted/Fred leaned over and rolled down the window, and I finally was able to push him off as he did so.

"Were busy here. What do we want,"

"Oh, just wondering if you bringing her home, Im leaving," she walked away and I hit Ted/Fred in the arm, and climbed over him,

"Soraya! Wait up, its not what you think," I stumbled my way towards her as she climbed in her car,

"Amy, just go away. Why I even_ try_ to be friends with you anymore is beyond me. You apparently didn't mean what you said. Just leave me alone," tears were coursing down her face freely now, and she closed the door, me still 10 feet away and closing. She started the engine and quickly pulled out of her spot, revving the engine until she was gone, flying down the street.

Hot tears were now welling in _my _eyes and I walked slowly back towards the bar, noticing that Ted/Fred had apparently already gone back inside.

I felt sick to my stomach as I passed the bar, seeing Ted/Fred already talking to another unknowing victim. I head down the hall towards the bathroom and the phone, wondering how in the hell I was supposed to get home, when I heard it. The same melody I had heard at school. It was Ty.

I headed back to the stage and saw him, strumming away, singing in a clear voice, a song that somewhat reminded me of a song sung by 'The All-American Rejects' came through the speakers. The lyrics were different, the beat different, but his voice reminded me of the lead singers, Tyson (that's his name right, sorry blonde moment)

I leaned against the wall, settling my stomach, and let his clear voice carry me along.

A while later, how long Im not sure, Ty announced an intermission of 30 minutes, and the dj started to play a cd. Ty walked off stage and headed my way, he was right infront of me when I realized I was leaning against a door, I looked at him, then the sign on the door 'Back Stage: Employee's and Performers Only". I blushed and stepped back, Ty also stepped to the side and let his friends pass him on the way into the room beyond the door.

When the door shut Ty smiled at me, "Hey. Amy, right?"

"Yeah," I paused, "Your really good you know," I nodded towards the stage and he smiled more,

"Thanks," he glanced around, "You here alone?"

I blushed crimson, remembering why my stomach was so unsettled, "Well I wasn't, but my friend left, we sort of had a...misunderstanding."

His face fell, "Oh...are you ok?"

I dropped my eyes at his concern, "Not really, it was pretty bad,"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, Im ok...Well I need to go find a way home. So, um, your really good, thanks for the concern, and Ill see you later," I babbled, starting to walk away,

"Amy!" he called after me, grabbing my arm, "I can give you a ride...if you want?"

I turned to look at him, and felt myself answering, "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks,"

"No problem. I get off in 40 minutes, wait for me?" I nodded and he smiled, "Come on," he led me into the room his band members had disappeared into my arm. On a couch against the far wall was the drummer, blonde hair falling sweetly around his angular face. Next to him was the copper-haired guy, who was drinking a bottle of water, and then getting something out of the fridge was the black haired guy, his but sticking out of the fridge as he leaned over.

"Guys, this is Amy," they all looked at me and smiled, "Amy this is Kyle," he pointed to the blonde, "That's Mark," copper-head, "and John," black hair.

"Hi," I smile at them as they chorus a Hello.

"She's a friend from school, she's gonna hang out with us tonight,"

"Cool, come sit down babe," Kyle pats the seat between him and Mark. His 'babe' remark was clearly a warm welcome, and his smile was friendly, not at all like Ted/Fred. I walked over to him and sat down, my thighs bumping theirs.

"So, you been watching the show?" Mark asked from beside me, his hand a polite distance from mine on the couch,

"Yeah, you guys are really great!" They all smile at me, I have been accepted.

"I like her," John chimes in, talking to Ty now. Ty blushes a little but smiles,

"Me too," he answers, glancing at me, I smile at him.

"Definitely time-worthy," Kyle nods, I raise my eyes brows at him in question, "It means I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, wasting away time. Some people aren't worth time at all," the rest of the guys nod at this, and I find myself smiling,

"Well you guys aren't too bad yourself,"

Kyle laughs and pats my knee, "Amy, feel free to hang out with us anytime. You're a cool chica," he laid on a little Spanish accent on the last word.

I just smile.

"Well, time to go guys. Amy you can stay in here or come out and watch, whichever you want. We have another half-hour before we can go," Ty holds out his hand to me, offering to help me up. I place my hand in his, his smooth fingers curling around mine, lifting me up.

"I choose to watch,"

A half hour later

I am leaned against a white van as the guys pack their equipment into the back. Finally they climb out and Kyle, Mark, and John climb in the front seats,

"Bye Amy," they all yell out, "Nice meeting you,"

"You too," I yell back. Ty walks towards me as they pull out, squealing into the road.

"Ready?" he asked me, walking towards a waiting, midnight blue, Jeep Liberty.

"Ready!" I say cheerily, Ted/Fred and Soraya momentarily forgotten.

We climb into his car and he starts the engine, backing out into the road, "Left or right?" he looks at me, waiting.

"Right," he turns and picks up speed as he cruises down the deserted road.

"How far?" he reaches forward and turns on the radio, only loud enough to hear the words. Panic! At The Disco is clearly heard.

"Um, about 4 miles, and then its on the left. There is a gate and above it a sign, it says Heartland," he looks at me,

"Heartland as in the farm?"

"Yeah, you know it?"

"I pass it on my way to school everyday, I know where it is. So, its your farm?" he glances at me,

"My Grandpa's. My mom moved us here when I was three and started a horse farm. She died a few years ago, so I work it,"

"I'm sorry about your mom," I nod solemnly, "So... you work it alone?"

"No, my sister does the paper work, and my Grandpa fixes things. And then there's Ben, the stable hand, he's a big help,"

"Cool, I'd like to check it out some time," he lowers the volume a little as we pull into my driveway. He stops when we get to the top and lets the engine idle.

"So, thanks for the ride."

"Anytime," he catches my eye and we sit there for a minute, not blinking,

"Well, uh, thanks again," I stumble out of the door in a daze, "Oh," I turn back, "Your really great...your band I mean," I correct myself, horrified at how it sounded.

"Thanks, see you later," I wave as he backs out of the driveway and then I head into the house, humming the melody I now associated with Ty.

Author note: Sorry about the confusion with my changing the second chapter. But I like this much better. More believable. Enjoy and Review!


	5. Confrontations

**Author Note: **I didn't get many reviews, and I'd really like more, but I'm hooked on this story so I'm writing the third chapter anyways. Enjoy!

**Note:** Ugh, ok... 1st chapter- Present tense. (No clue why)

2nd chapter- I wanted to switch back to past, like im used to, but ended up switching back and forth without realizing it.

3rd chapter- Trying to stick to past.

Sorry for any confusion.

**Disclaimer:** Some characters belong to Lauren Brooke,

Some of the plot belongs to Sarah Dessen,

Many characters and much of the plot belong to _moi_.

Refrain from copying.

**Chapter 3**

_Two days later: September 27th: Monday_

I walked into the barn, my book bag over my shoulder, as I walked down the aisle. I dropped my bag and stopped, leaning into the door that stood right next to me.

"Chanse, come here baby," I crooned into the stall. My Only Chanse was a 5 month old filly, with whom I had become quite attached to. Her sire was Shining Moon, and her dam was Fighting Glory. Her blood lines were immaculate, making her a beautiful filly with a bright future. As I yelled softly into the dark stall I saw a white tail flashing, and then a chesnut head with a bright white star adorning the forehead, popped out of the shadows, "There you are," I reached my hand down, provoking her to come closer. She bounded over and rubbed her head against my hand, looking for a treat.

"Well aren't we greedy?" I laughed and then pulled an alfalfa cube from my sweater. I stood there for what seemed like forever, petting and babying Chanse when a car horn startled me and I jumped in the air, frightening Chanse. "Well I have to go, I'll see you later," I caressed her silky head, between her ears, one more time before picking up my bag and high tailing it to Lou's car.

"This is very inconvenient, you know that?" Lou moaned as I climbed into the car. She sat with one hand resting on the wheel in a bored manner, the other slowly circling her growing belly.

"It's not my fault. Grandpa should have gotten the truck fixed when we told him to," she shook her head in an annoyed way, "You know, I don't prefer this either. I'd rather have my car back too."

She glared at me in her usual hormonal way, "Why couldn't Soraya pick you up...or Matt?"

I felt a tug in my chest as I remembered what had happened with Soraya. I had tried calling her the next day to explain, but she wouldn't talk to me. Pleading sickness to her mother, "Soraya's sick," I lied. Why not use her excuse?

"Matt?"

"He's taking this course at the hospital for aspiring doctors. He doesn't have to be to school until its over, at 8:30. School is at the total opposite side of town," I mumbled, wanting to get off the subject.

(The program exists. My brother has just been accepted, 1 out of 15 students. And there were a lot who signed up. But I just totally blanked on the name even though he is constantly talking about it...)

"Oh, well, whatever. It's still so...," she paused, searching for a word, "Dumb," she nodded to emphasize this. I gawked, having never heard her use such a...bland word.

I blame the hormones.

(Ain't it the truth? My sister has been pregnant before, and is pregnant right now. She cried at my brother's prom walk, ok I can see that, we were proud as his sisters. But she outright BAWLED her eyes out, hugging him and crying. Like he had died or something. And she makes up words I don't think exist. As I always say to her...I blame the hormones.)

"Dumb," I repeated. She only nodded, paying attention to the road as she sped along, literally. Ever since she got pregnant she was so impatient that she drove at_ least_ 15 mph over the speed limit. When she used to drive at least 10 _under _the speed limit.

I just sighed, annoyed at her, and looked out my window. Hills rolled past, merging into grassy fields, which turned into an occasional house or farm. As we got closer to the city houses became more abundant and shops started to appear. We drove along Main Street, turning down a side road that led up a hill where the high school sat.

As it came into view I dropped my eyes. Would Soraya be there? Would she talk to me, let me explain?

These and many more questions raced through my mind as Lou crossed into the drop off lane. She pulled up to the sidewalk that wound into the Garden and stopped. I eased open my door, trying to delay, and finally crossed onto the sidewalk. I idled down it, the Garden emerging through the trees that lined the walkway. Instantly my eyes flew to the picnic table I sat at for lunch and in the morning. Sitting there, calm as can be, was Soraya, talking with her hands, to Jane Conners, who nodded enthusiastically. I took a deep breath and began to walk in their direction, breathing in and out regularly, in case I forgot to breathe.

"Hi," I cursed my voice as it came out low and slightly squeaky. Soraya stopped her hands and looked up at me, her eyes instantly sharp, cutting through me.

"What do _you_ want?" she snapped at me, Jane instantly looked startled and confused.

"To explain, if you'd let me," I felt stronger, starting to resent her for not even listening. Isn't that what friends were for?

"You don't have to explain anything. And I have nothing to say to you. So, bye." she resolutely turned back to Jane. Jane glanced at me, an apology in her eyes. It wasn't her fault I was being ignored. She hadn't chosen to get in-between us. I nodded slightly, telling her as much. I stood for another moment, pleading with myself to just leave, let her simmer down. But my determination out flitted everything.

"Soraya, if you would _please_ just listen you'd realize..." she cut me off

"I realize perfectly fine, Amy. I saw what was going on, and I _realized_ that apparently you could give a shit whether we are friends or not. So you know what?" she didn't stop to let me answer, "Im through with it Amy. With your pathetic little excuses I always believed and your rendez-vous with random guys who you pick over me. So just leave me alone," her voice dropped, becoming a pleading whisper. A moment of weakness through all of her strength, "please."

I stood, my heart thudding, as suddenly I understood. She was being honest, she wanted me to leave. Forever. I ached to tell her what really happened, for her to apologize for her cruel assumptions, and to let me cry on her shoulder. But I knew that she wouldn't let me speak. And truthfully, as I stood there, opening my mouth, readying myself to just blurt everything out, that I couldn't do it. My stomach clenched as I though of what happened, and I felt bile rising in my throat at even the mere though of voicing what I had been through. It was impossible, even if she was willing to let me explain.

So I left. I turned my back on my best friend for 11 years, and walked away. I kept thinking about her as I walked towards the door, kept thinking of what I couldn't tell her, my best friend. As I glanced back at her, ready to leave her, I saw him.

Not twenty feet from where I had been was Ted/Fred. He stood, facing the picnic table that held Soraya and Jane, and then his eyes lifted to mine. He smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth rising in an amused expression, and then he winked. As he dropped my gaze I felt my stomach drop, no _plummet_ through my body as I backed away from him, turning. I was surprised when no one screamed, I felt as though my stomach was lying splattered on the ground. And then I realized, it was. I found myself, hunched over behind a tree, vomiting into the lush green grass. I coughed as it burned my throat, leaving a trail of disgust as it went. I saw Ted/Fred smiling at me, as though he knew my secret. Which he did. He _was _my secret.

I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, leaving a slight trail of mucus. I gagged again, dry heaving, as there was nothing left to throw up. I caught my breath and looked down at the grass, cringing. I walked out into the garden, seeing that apparently, no one had noticed me. I made a beeline for the door, letting the cool breeze calm my nerves.

The bathroom was just down the hall and I pushed into the door, seeing no one was in there. I pulled off my now soiled sweater, revealing a shirt beneath it. I set everything on the ground and walked to the sinks. I leaned against one, letting my head hang, my pony tail resting on my shoulder. I reached to turn on the water, cupping it in my hands, and splashing my face with it. Wiping away tears that I hadn't realized I was crying. I cupped more water and swished it in my mouth, wiping away the reminder of Ted/Fred. I spit it out, and then looked up. Framed in the mirror was me, as usual. But something was different. I was a girl festering with a dark secret, one I couldn't tell anyone because I couldn't bring myself to do it. My eyes were emotionless, my face pale, and the loose hair from my ponytail framed my face in a way that made me look fragile, scared, dead. I dropped my eyes and felt another tear drop, watching as it fell into the white sink, finding its way into the drain. Into oblivion. The darkness, where I now dwelled.

I stood for another few minutes, determined to pull myself together, tie the strings that were coming undone. I finally stood straight, as though a corset were holding me up, keeping me from falling. And one was. The corset was tight, bound, inescapable. I let out a breath and wiped my eyes, lingering tears still held in place. I closed my eyes, and nodded. I picked up my bag and sweater and headed towards my locker. I opened it and placed my sweater on the bottom, hoping that the slight mucus left behind wouldn't cause my locker to smell. I made myself keep my eyes from wandering to the pictures that adorned my locker door. Of Soraya and me. I packed my bag with everything I needed and shut the locker, sighing, as I could finally let my eyes wander.

The bell rang. I hurried to my home room, dreading the day, but not wanting to be late for it. I slid into my seat, feeling blessed because Soraya wasn't in any of my classes, until eighth period. I pulled out my Global books and settled into my seat.

"The Renaissance. What can anyone tell me, out of your knowledge, what happened in this time period?" my teacher Mr. Harrison asked, his comb over hair falling into his eyes. He flipped his head and the hair landed back in its original place. The Flip. That is it's official name. The guy behind me snickered, as did a few others who saw it, "Anyone?"

"Wasn't Leonardo Da Vinci from that time?" a girl in the front asked. Her pen twirling in her fingers, her hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head.

"Yes, he was. Does anyone know any art works by Da Vinci, they're very well-known," no duh, who doesn't know his works? I accidentally sighed at this, and he heard me, "Miss. Flemings"

I looked up, confused at first, but then collected myself, "A few are The Last Supper, The Mona Lisa, and The Virgin of the Rocks." Mr. Harrison seemed shocked.

"Yes, very good. Thank you Amy, now..." he went on, losing my interest very soon. I lost myself until the bell rang. I collected everything, checked the board, no homework, and head for Biology.

_Lunch_

I headed down the hall, seeing the glass doors at the end. I took a deep breath and kept going. I pushed the door open, feeling the hot air already invading my lungs. I walked slowly down the walk, seeing Soraya, Matt, Jane, and Kelly sitting at our table. Out of habit I headed their way, I was about ten feet away when Soraya saw me. She shot me a look and I suddenly remembered everything. I had to turn, had to make like I wasn't heading her way and giving her that satisfaction. Without even thinking I turned right, towards the wall. I didn't plan on sitting there, but oh well. I looked back and saw my other friends, who I sometimes sat with, Kami, Jessie, and Carter. I wanted to turn back, to sit with them, but Soraya was still watching me. She'd know if I turned back.

The wall it was.

I placed my book bag on the stone wall, and turned to face the garden. I planted my hand on either side of me in a 90 degree angle. I pushed my arms straight, hoisting myself onto the wall. When I was situated I pulled my lunch out from within my book bag. It was crumpled, broken, like me. I tenderly took out my lunch and smoothed the bag so it was almost wrinkle free. But not quite. I couldn't help but wish that all my problems could be smoothed out, like a crinkle. One little line that could easily be conquered.

As I sat, releasing my lunch from its constraints, I smoothed out each bag. I was taking a bite of the PB&J sandwich when I felt a presence next to me,

"Hey," I turned, it was Ty. He was dressed in a pair of beige, frayed, shorts, and brown shirt covering his chest. His ipod was in his hand, the earphones wrapped around it. He was looking at me with his startling emerald eyes. Was it odd I felt like Dorothy, looking at Emerald City?

"Hey," I managed a weak smile. He usually sat further down the wall, about 15 feet, so I was surprised he had sat next to me.

"Why are you sitting here today?" he was blunt, I liked that.

"You know how I told you that I got in a fight with my friend?" he nodded, "Yeah well, I haven't been forgiven and so I can't sit with her," he raised his eyebrows, glancing at my table. He knew where I sat? "I was going to sit with my other friends, but I just ended up here...somehow."

He frowned, "Sorry about your friend. What was the fight about, if you don't mind me asking?"

I felt sick, "Well, uh, let's just say I promised her something, but under certain...circumstances I was unable to keep it. But it wasn't by choice."

"Well then, that was super vague." He smiled.

"Sorry, it's really complicated," I dropped my eyes, "I just don't want to talk about it." I waited for him to continue like I hadn't said anything. Beg me to tell him,_ pressure _me to tell him.

He surprised me, "Ok." I looked at him, startled, but he was already over it. He sat, his hands behind him in the grass, earphones in, ipod on the wall next to him, and his head bobbing slightly. I was surprised, but in a good way. He didn't pressure me, he understood. So I resumed eating, in a better mood. The corset slightly undone, letting me breathe a little easier.

When I finished my lunch I crinkled up the bag, wincing. The crinkles are never truly gone. You can smooth them out, wipe them away for a while. But they're never gone for good.

It's like a fight. Say there is a huge blow out between friends, where both tell secrets and lies about the other. Then, finally, they make up. But the lies and secrets told will always bug them. Knowing that they were told, that they had been betrayed. No matter how much they tried to ignore it, smooth it out, forget it, they would always be there. Nagging in the back of their minds, just waiting to use it as ammo in the next fight. Crinkle, crinkle.

I must have been staring at the bag too long, lost in thought, because suddenly Ty was talking, "You ok?"

I looked up, looked at him. He was still sitting with his hands behind him, earphones in, ipod now on his lap, but his head was tilted forward and to the side, looking at me.

"Yeah, im fine." I lied, jumping off the wall, grabbing my garbage and book bag, "See you." I walked away, hearing him mutter a goodbye, no doubt curious about my behavior.

I went to my locker, in a small alcove with 5 lockers next to the stairs that led to the languages. I tried my combination 3 times before I finally got it. When I did I pulled on the handle, but it stuck. I glared at the lock, cursing it into oblivion, before tugging as hard as I could, and it flew open, hitting my head, "Shit!" I swore, rubbing my temple where the locker door had hit. The pain was sharp, spreading into my head, an instant headache. Then I heard someone laughing. I turned, about to tell the person off when he spoke,

"Hey, Amy right?" he asked, his sandy blonde hair spiked, like a million devil horns marking their territory.

"W-w-hat do you want?" I asked, backing against my locker, he grinned.

"Just to talk. I've..._seen_ you around before. Thought you looked," he smiled a devilish smile. Those horns truly worked, "Nice."

"Fuck you," I spat, feeling my stomach twist looking at his hair.

"With pleasure, as long as your there," he reached forward to brush his fingers along my cheek and I flinched back. I patted my way to the wall, my head hitting the ceiling, the stairwell above me narrowing the standing space. He came forward, bending slightly to get near me. I looked behind him, hoping someone was there, but the bell was about to ring, no one was there. Plus we were almost hidden from view in the alcove.

"Please," I pleaded, "Just let me go to class. Leave me alone," his smile wilted along the edges, "Please?" I questioned again.

He reached out to touch me, I moved from his reach. "Im Ted, by the way." he walked closer.

"Leave. Me. ALONE!" I went to scream but he covered my mouth with his hand, hitting my head against the wall. Pain coursed through me like an electric jolt.

"I don't want to have to hurt you Amy, so don't give me a reason." his voice was low, warning. He went to remove his hand, and I tried to dart past him. His arm shot out, his fist hitting the locker. I ran straight into his arm, choking as my neck hit hard. I felt as though I was on a bike, full speed, and was wrung by a clothes line. I coughed, holding my throat. He ripped my hand away, replacing it with his own, "Stop Amy," his hold tightened, I was breathing raggedly, "Don't run. I like you, and I want to get to know you. If you would STOP moving!" his hand tightened, cutting off my air passage, my lung started to burn. Suddenly he was on me, his mouth savaging mine, tongue invading my mouth, as I swatted at his hand, trying to get a breath. I was feeling faint, black spots appearing in my vision, closing in, when I felt a little relief around my neck, I took a deep breath. Someone was coming down the stairs, we could here it, feet descending. But Ted didn't stop, he kept his mouth on mine, tightening his hold once again. He felt secure in the alcove. No one would see...

"Amy!" Ted ripped his mouth off mine, his hand tightened more, then let go. I fell to the floor, holding my neck, gasping for air.

Ty stood, a bathroom pass in hand, staring with horrified eyes at Ted, then me, then back at Ted. He took a menacing step forward, his eyes hardening, "What the _fuck_ is going on?"

Ted took a step forward too, not bothered in the least, "None of your business," Ty stood his ground, "You can leave now," Ted swatted his hand, gesturing for him to leave.

"I believe," Ty's voice was angry, and yet frighteningly calm, "that it is my business. Amy," he looked over at me, I rubbed my throat, tears starting to well up in my eyes, "is my friend, and I want to know what I just saw." He knew, he knew what he'd seen. But he wanted to hear him say it, hear him admit it.

"Not. A. Damn. Thing." Ted advanced on Ty, his eyes threatening, Ty didn't move, "We were kissing, happy now?" Ted suddenly seemed aware that I, or Ty could tell someone what he had done to me. He was trying to cover up.

"Hm, funny," Ty stepped forward, now only a few feet from Ted. Ty was about an inch taller, so he made show of looking down at him, "It didn't look like that to me. To _me_ it looked like you were hurting her," Ty paused, "That doesn't sit well with me." I stood up, my neck throbbed, but I could now breathe.

"Ty..." my voice was hoarse, raspy. He looked at me,

"Are you ok?" his voice softened, his eyes scanning my face, making sure I was all right.

"I'm...better," I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't sure I wanted a fight to happen. So I tried to sound somewhat optimistic...if that was possible. He studied me and could tell I wasn't being totally honest, but I think he could tell I didn't want them to fight...not now, so he nodded and looked back at Ted.

Ty pushed Ted into the locker, hard, a resounding crash echoed, he held him there, glaring at him, "If you _ever_ lay a finger on her again, I swear to GodI will fucking kill you,"he paused, "Do you understand me?"

Ted didn't say anything and Ty lost it, "I said, _DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME_," he roared, and I glanced around. Surprised when no one came running. Ted nodded, apparently he was only tough when he was dealing with girls. Ty let him stand straight, away from the locker, but then pushed him into it again, Ted almost fell, "Good." Ty held out his hand to me, beckoning. I walked forward, but he still held out his hand, so I slipped mine into it. He curled his fingers around mine, squeezing them tightly, and then led me out of the alcove and up the stairs. He was breathing hard, still angered. I squeezed his hand and he looked at me, then pulled me into a hug, holding me like I was his only mooring, like he was so relieved I was still there.

**Author Note:** So?


	6. Author Note 2

**Author Note: **Wow, I am attached to this story. I really need to update FLSG. HT is officially on Hiatus. Steph (Akers2) put her story Vampires Will Never Hurt You on Hiatus and it made me realize that I might as well do the same for Hard Times. Sorry for all who liked it, and Im glad you did. It was my first story ever. Who knows, maybe one day Ill get bored and actually finish it.

Anyways, I have decided to write yet ANOTHER story. It is based on the books A Great And Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels. It is a Gemma/Karik fic. I hope anyone who has read the books will read the story. Even if you haven't. I'll most likely have to put some background information in.

So Chapter 4 should be up soon. I am now typing the first chapter of my new story. Please try and read:)


	7. Chapter 7

_Wow, its been over a year since I updated this story. That's a helluva long time. But, as of a few days ago, I got a PM asking me to keep this story going. So, well, its my last day of summer and I have nothing to do (plus, I'm sick), so I decided to write. _

_Oh, and I don't like how I ended the last chapter, so I'm going to try and reverse some of what happened. The ending still stands, but, well, you'll see :_

_**Same day: September 27**__**th**__**: Monday**_

The bell rung and I instantly dropped my notebook into my bag and hoisted it onto my back. I quickly glanced at Soraya across the room, only to feel my heart drop as I saw her already retreating figure walking through the door. I sighed, feeling my chest become heavy, and followed her lead.

I walked slowly along the wall towards my locker, and took a deep breath as I neared the alcove.

All throughout last period I had been working myself up to returning to that very spot. The alcove now seemed like a damned place that noone should ever have to go. But I had to. I had to come to terms with what had happened and face my fears. I fingered my neck lightly as I turned into the small alcove, and saw him standing there.

I froze.

"Hey," his voice was low, concerned.

"Hi," I answered, slowly walking towards him. He was leaning on the locker right next to mine, and I kept my eyes away from his. I couldn't deal with sympathy right now.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," I could feel him looking at me, searching my face. I lifted my eyes to him and just looked into his emerald gaze.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" His face crinkled into a confused expression and I took a deep breath, turning away. I was strong. I was invincible. The corset instantly wove tighter into my spine.

"Amy, what happened today...," my fingers trembled as they spun the combination to my locker. 26-16-34.

"What happened today, Ty?" I tugged open my locker and blocked him from my view. I saw his fingers curl around the door and push it flush against the locker he had been leaning against, bringing him back into view.

"What do you mean, what happened today?" His eyes were confused, lost, searching.

"I mean, what _happened_ today?" My eyes shot towards his until we were locked in a fiery battle. I was trying to forget my fears, and forget what had happened. Why did he feel the need to bring back such a painful memory?

"I...," Ty's eyes dove into mine, looking for something that wasn't there. "I don't know."

"Then I'll tell you," I stuffed my biology book into my bag and closed it. "Nothing happened today. It was a normal day of school. I came, went to class, and now I'm going home."

I slammed my locker door shut and walked away, breathing shallowly as the corset pulled just a little tighter, and a sea of green followed me as I turned the corner.

_**One day later: September 28**__**th**__**: Tuesday**_

"This is more than just romance

It's an endless summer

I can feel the butterflies, leading me through it

Take my heart, I'll take your hand

As we're falling under..."

The song kept going even as my voice wheedled down to nothing. My throat felt constricted and I tried to clear it, but nothing happened. I itched my brow as I glanced out the window instead of singing. We were just coming into the main drag and I focused on Lisa's Pizzeria as it whizzed by. Lisa's Pizzeria was where Soraya, Matt, and I all went on each of our birthdays. Mine was only two weeks away, on October 15th. Would we be friends again? Would we continue the tradition?

"This is so inconvenient," Lou groaned as we turned onto the hill that lead to Jefferson High.

"I know, Lou. You don't have to keep saying it," I rolled my eyes in annoyance as she sped towards the entrance.

"Well, it is. When will Soraya be back in school?" I bit my lip, dropping my eyes to my legs.

"Um, I don't know. Next week, maybe?" Lou cursed under her breath.

"What does the girl have, mono?" I shook my head silently.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her." I felt her look at me as she came to a stop. I jumped out of the car before she could question me, waving at her as I passed in front of the car.

I followed her retreating automobile before hitching my backpack on my shoulder and heading towards the door. I'd been dreading school all night, and had even thought about faking sick, but what would that have done?

"Amy!" I turned slowly around and smiled half-heartedly as Jane caught up with me.

"Hey, Jane," I opened the glass door to the school and held it open for her.

"Hey. How are you?" I gave her a rueful glance and she blushed.

"Soraya told you, didn't she?" Jane only nodded as she walked beside me down the hall. "Did she also tell you that she wouldn't let me explain?"

Jane looked up at me and shook her head. "She said there was nothing you could say that would make the situation any better."

"Well, in a way, she's right," There was nothing I could say that would change the fact that I had nearly been raped. No words could take away the bruise that had appeared overnight across my neck. No words.

"So...then she isn't exaggerating?" Jane wanted to believe that I hadn't done what Soraya thought I did. I wanted to tell Jane everything, just let it all spill out. She would, no doubt, tell Soraya and she'd have to forgive me. She'd have to. But when I opened my mouth to speak, to voice what had happened that night, only bile came to my mouth. I covered it quickly, forcing myself to swallow it, cringing as it burned my throat.

"Are you okay?" Jane had seen me cover my mouth, my eyes widening.

"I'm fine," I gagged. I felt tears welling behind my eyes. "Look, I can't tell you what happened that night. I don't even think I know for sure. But, please, believe me when I say that you don't know the whole story. I'm not that girl anymore."

Jane smiled and nodded slightly, but I knew. Her suspicions had been confirmed. Soraya wasn't lying. I was the slut of a best friend who ditched Soraya to mess around with a random guy in the backseat of a car. I couldn't blame her. I hadn't told her otherwise, I'd been unable to. So she took the worst for truth. I was One Shot Amy to her, now. Nothing more. Nothing less.

_Lunch_

He sat approximately fifteen feet down the wall from me. His iPod was laying, discarded, by his side, and he was digging through his bag, looking for something. I kept my head trained forward, but my eyes were as far to the side as they could go, keeping him in my gaze. After a moment he pulled out a crumpled bagged lunch, and he opened it. As he pulled out a sandwich he glanced over at me, and my eyes flew forward.

When I'd come to lunch I wasn't sure what to expect. Was Ty going to sit by me again? Was he going to pretend nothing had happened? Or would he grill me about what had happened?

Never once had I entertained the notion that he wouldn't even acknowledge me. I had been sure he'd do_ something_. Anything.

I looked down at my french homework and continued to write a paragraph on what I planned to do over the weekend. Pretending that he wasn't just down the wall.

_**A week later and a half later: Thursday: October 6**__**th**__**: Heartland**_

"DAMMIT!" I screamed, holding my foot as a the pain shot up my leg like daggers continually stabbing.

"Amy! What happened?!" I looked over at Ben, who was running across the paddock.

"Molly happened," I fell to the ground and pulled off my shoe, knowing it was swollen when the shoe resisted. "Dammit," I said, this time it was whispered.

"Did she kick you?" Ben kneeled beside me, looking for injury.

"No, she reared and fell on my foot," Ben cringed as he imagined it.

"What were you trying to do?" He gently lifted my foot and I moaned in pain, gritting my teeth.

"I was going to attempt join-up, since she's been here a few days. At first she was doing fine, but I must have made a wrong step and she went running, and when I tried to calm her she reared, and, well...," I looked down at my foot pointedly.

"Ouch," he finished. He sighed, pulling of my sock, and as I looked down, I knew why he had sighed. My foot was already swollen to double its normal size, and a bluish tint was already invading the flawless skin.

"Oh, damn," Ben chuckled as he helped me stand.

"We have to get you to the house, lets go," He hoisted me up and I hopped on my left foot, favoring my right one.

"This sucks, Ben," He nodded in agreement, focusing on supporting my weight. The stairs proved to be tricky until Ben just flung me up into his arms and carried me through the door, through the kitchen, and into the living room. Lou sat there, folding onesies and coupling socks. She didn't glance up at first, but when she did she shrieked.

"Amy! What happened?" I groaned as I was set softly onto the couch and Ben lifted my foot onto the coffee table.

"Molly landed on my foot," Lou fretted around my leg and after a minute or so of prodding she stood straight.

"Nothing seems to be broken, but its going to bruise pretty badly. Here, let me get something to ice it with," She hobbled off, her belly protruding in front of her, into the kitchen.

"So, what now?" Ben asked, sitting in the chair opposite the couch.

"What do you mean?" I lifted my foot experimentally and winced as pain shot up my leg.

"I mean, your foot is going to be bruised for at least a week or so. I doubt you'll even be able to walk on it. We're going to need some extra help...," I looked sharply up at him.

"I'm fine," he shook his head in annoyance.

"Look, Amy, I'm not trying to replace you or anything, but you know we'll need help. I can't do everything by myself. I'll have to take over all your horses now, so I'll need someone to do all the feeding and grooming and cleaning. Otherwise, we're doomed,"

I gritted my teeth and played with a loose piece of thread on the couch. After a few seconds I looked up. "I guess I could ask around school...," Ben smiled in sympathy.

"Well, actually, I had someone in mind," I looked up at him in shock.

"Dylan?" Ben laughed heartedly at this.

"Dylan, do work? Yeah, I'd like to see that," Ben chuckled again. "No, I met this guy in the lumber store the other day, and we got to talking. He said he'd heard about Heartland and was interested in seeing the place,"

"You were in a lumber store?" I asked.

"Yeah, my aunt is making me build her a deck off the back door," I nodded.

"Anyway, why this guy? You don't even know him," Ben stretched his feet out in front of him.

"He seemed nice. He said he was building a small garage for storage, and so I figure he's not afraid of hard work. And he mentioned that he was looking for a job to pay for the wood he was buying. I guess he was sort of using all his money to build it," At that moment Lou walked in with a bag of ice covered in a dish towel. She set it on my foot, and I flinched.

"Keep it there for about an hour," She threw the remote for the t.v into my lap and I blew out a breath. She then left the room, sweeping up her onesies and socks.

"Anyway," I said, "does he know anything about horses?"

Ben shrugged. "Who knows? He wouldn't have to anyway. All he's doing is cleaning the yard, doing feed, and grooming. All those are pretty straight forward, I'd be willing to teach him. Plus, he really perked up when he heard I worked here. I think he's sort of been wanting to come by and see the place."

"Why?" I moved the ice around my foot to a comfortable position.

"I don't know, Heartland has been getting a lot of publicity. Maybe he read about us." Ben stood up.

"Um, well, I guess if you can get a hold of him he'll do. It's only for a week or so, anyway, right?" Ben smiled down at me, going around to the back of the couch and putting his hands on my shoulders and squeezing them lightly. I cringed as a finger brushed my bruised neck. I quickly brushed his hands away and pulled my hair around to cover my neck.

"Right. So, I'm going to go get Molly. She needs to come in," Ben smiled and left the room.

_**The next day: Friday: October 7**__**th**_

"Ow," I whispered, climbing out of the car.

"Amy," Lou looked concerned, "Are you sure you don't want to stay home today? It'll give you the weekend to rest." I looked up at the school, then back at her.

"I'm fine, Lou. I think I need to walk around, you know, keep it in motion." She frowned, but nodded.

"Okay, well, I'll be here at 2:30," I smiled and watched as she drove away.

I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and began to walk forward. Well, I _tried_ to walk forward. Walking, as I'd learned that morning when getting out of bed, wasn't an easy feat. The swelling had gone down and my foot was now back to normal, but my big toe down to more than half of my foot was a dark purple color with yellow tinging. It wasn't pretty, and sure as hell felt worse than it looked. Which was pretty gruesome.

I hobbled forward, wincing each time I put pressure on my foot. I got through the door and down the hall, and even into my alcove before breaking. I let out a large gust of a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and leant against my locker, taking the pressure off of my foot. I took short, choppy breaths, letting the pain subside. When I wasn't close to passing out, I turned slowly around and opened my locker. I deposited most of my books into it, taking the bare minimum to class, so I didn't have to carry too much.

Then, I hobbled to hell.

_Lunch_

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow," I limped towards the wall, slowly, for lunch. As I got to my spot I stood on one foot and leant against the wall, heaving my backpack onto it, then turning slowly around, placing my hands on the wall, bracing myself, and lifting myself onto the wall.

I sighed once I was there, feeling my foot practically swoon in acceptance.

"Are you okay?" I whipped my head to the right and saw Ty sitting about ten feet down the wall. I'd gotten to lunch late on account of my foot, when usually I was there before him. Of course he would have seen me hobble into the garden. Damn.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for asking," I turned away, my heart thumping unnaturally. I put a hand to my chest to will it to be quiet.

"Are you sure, because, well, you don't look it," I turned my head slowly towards him.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but you haven't talked to me in about two weeks, and suddenly you're concerned about my well-being?" I hadn't expected to say that. WHY DID I SAY THAT?!

Ty's eyes became narrower. "Amy, you're the one that wanted nothing to do with me. I thought I was doing you a favor."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head and I choked on my own spit. "_I_ wanted nothing to do with you?!" I turned my body towards him. "You're the one who hasn't talked to me!"

"And_ you're _the one who said 'nothing happened' that day," I wilted as he said this. He'd taken that statement as a...dismissal? Was that it?

"If it had been you, you would want to believe the same thing." I murmured softly, shifting my eyes to my lap. I felt the tears welling, just remembering the past few weeks and what had caused the rift between myself and Soraya, and what had happened in the alcove I frequented every day.

"Is that what this is all about?" Ty's voice was right next to me now. He'd moved down the wall and to my side. Our legs touching.

"What?" I didn't dare to look at him.

"Is that why we aren't talking? You want to forget?" His voice was soft, understanding.

"I think...I think I _need_ to forget. Otherwise, I'll never resurface," Ty's arm brushed mine.

"Resurface?" He asked.

"I'm drowning in all of it. I can't...I can't breathe at times," I finally looked at him, his face only about three inches away from my own. "I can't seem to catch a breath."

His eyes swam within my own, and he lifted his hand and placed it under my chin, lifting it up so my hair fell away from my neck. His hand then traveled down to the nearly disappeared bruise.

"Something happened before that day, didn't it?" I nodded as his warm fingers played along my neck, touching the skin I couldn't even look at in the mirror.

"Tell me," he whispered, his voice so close, so comforting.

"I...," my voice was low, barely heard. I wanted to tell him, I could tell him. No bile rose in my throat, but I caught myself before I let myself go. Let the corset unwind along my body. I thought of what he would think of me. Would he believe me, would he hold me and tell me everything would be okay? Or would he give into the facts. That I was One Shot Amy, and that Ted was just another hole in my golf game.

I'd never slept with anyone. No one knew that, not even Soraya. It had never come up in conversation, she'd never dared to ask me, but she believed the rumors. I knew she did. She thought I was sleeping with all my boyfriends. Abandoning my body for pleasure.

But I'd never let a guy go up my shirt, let along get into my pants. And while I resented all those who thought I was that loose with my morals, I knew they were right in assuming so. I hadn't done anything but leave a trail of broken hearts behind me since my mother died. And as I felt myself falling for Ty, letting my heart go, letting it soar towards him, trusting him, I pulled back.

"I can't," I whispered. "I can't."

**Author Note:** _Voila : Please review. Much appreciated :_


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